On The Yellow Brick Road

Glinda and Letitia enter.

Glinda

Well, so far so good. Dorothy and her friends are on the yellow brick road and heading for the Emerald City.

Letitia

I only wish there was someway we could keep them safe.

Glinda

Perhaps there is.

Letitia

But how?

Glinda

I’ve thought of a way to help protect them from Olga. And in doing so, safeguard Oz as well.

Olga enters

Olga

Is that so?

Letitia

Eavesdropping as usual Olga?

Olga

Well maybe if you didn’t have such a big gob, I wouldn’t have overheard you.

Glinda

If you didn’t have such big ears you mean.

Olga

Mock while you still can. But not even your combined powers will protect them or Oz from my fury!

Letitia

You seem to forget that you don’t have any real power outside the land of the West, Olga.

Olga

No. But what I have I shall use. My evil magic is much more powerful than your goody, good magic!

Glinda/Letitia

Oh no it isn’t!

Olga

Oh yes it is!

Glinda

Nonsense. Anything you can do, we can do better.

Music cue 5: Witches. After song ends…

Olga

Oh yes, I nearly forgot (takes out the emerald crystal) I also have this.

Glinda

The magic crystal of Oz!

Letitia

But how did you get hold of it? The wizard banned you from ever entering the Emerald City.

Olga

My spies have been working inside the city for years, just waiting for the chance to steal the magic crystal for me. And at last my patience has paid off. Not even the mighty wizard of Oz can maintain the Emerald City for long without the power of the crystal.

Glinda

The crystal is of no use to you. Only the wizard is powerful enough to control its magic.

Olga

True. But once I have the ruby slippers, I shall have enough power to control it and become ruler of Oz! Ha-ha-ha!

Olga exits cackling.

Letitia

What are we going to do now, Glinda?

Glinda

We’re not beaten yet. Come, Letitia. It’s time to put my plan into action. Starting with the man of straw.

Letitia

(to audience) I just love it when Glinda has a plan. It’s ever so exciting!

Both exit.

Elvis enters (SL)

Elvis

Well it’s a one for the money, two for the show. Three to get ready now go cat go. Howdy folks? Yes it’s me, Elvis. The colonel booked me on a three-week tour here in little ol’ Oz, and I liked it so much I decided to stay a while. But now I’m ready to face my adoring fans once again. The only problem is I can’t find the colonel anywhere, and I don’t know how to get back to Graceland. But I’ve been doing mighty fine here in Oz, and one of my old songs has been racing up the charts. Would you like to hear it? OK, here we go Music cue 6 Elvis: After song ends ENDS…

Aumt Em and Dorothy enter (SR)

Aunt Em

(sees Elvis) It isn’t?…It can’t be!…

Elvis

Howdy ladies!

Aunt Em

It is!

Dorothy

Are you the wizard?

Elvis

No, I’m Elvis. Otherwise known as the king.

Dorothy

You’re the king of Oz?

Elvis

No missy, I’m the king of rock’n’roll Music cue 7: (gyrates)

Aunt Em

So this is where you’ve been hiding yourself been all these years?

Elvis

Yes ma’am.

Aunt Em

I knew that bloke in the chip-shop was lying.

Dorothy

Then why did you ask him for his autograph?

Aunt Em

It got me an extra large portion.

Elvis

There are a lot of impersonators out there. But there’s still only one king! Music cue 8: (gyrates) I don’t suppose you know where I can get a greyhound do ya?

Aunt Em

Why? Are you taking up dog racing now?

Elvis

No, I’m gonna ride it back to Memphis Tennessee.

Aunt Em

(laughs) Don’t be daft. You’d never get the saddle to stay on.

Dorothy

I think he means a greyhound coach, Aunt Em.

Aunt Em

Oh yes, silly me. He’d look daft siting on a real greyhound. He’d have nowhere to stick his guitar for a start.

Dorothy

Have you ever met the wizard, Mr Elvis?

Elvis

Ah sure have!

Dorothy

Do you think he will see us?

Elvis

Well he’s a hard man to get to see, miss. He refused to see me three times.

Aunt Em

Yes, but we only want to see him the once.

Elvis

It cost me a brand new Cadillac to get an audience.

Aunt Em

You could have had this lot (indicates audience) for a cup of tea and a custard cream.

Lion

(off) Raahhh!

Elvis

(holds his tummy) Pardon me ladies, I think there was a mite too much pickle on that last hamburger.

Lion

(off) Raahhh!

Aunt Em

That doesn’t sound like your tummy rumbling.

Dorothy

Then what was it?

Lion

(off) Raahhh!

Aunt Em

(scared) It sounds like, lions, or tigers, or bears to me!

Dorothy

Oh my!