At The Fairground

Fairground backcloth with an sign (USR) saying ‘STROMBOLI’S PUPPET THEATRE’ about a metre downstage from this is a black flat about 2 metres high, with a step-ladder behind it. This is where Stromboli 'works' his puppets from. Assorted fairground stalls can be added along with a bench for the audience to sit on. Chorus are milling around. Music cue 9: Chorus: After song ends…Chorus can exit, or mill around the stalls.

Stromboli enters (SL) with Linguini.

Stromboli

(Italian accent) Well Linguini, here-a we are at the famous Marscapone fair. We’ll give-a them a puppet show to remember.

Linguini

Well I hope the audience are better than that last lot. All through the show they just kept shouting ‘we can see the strings’!

Stromboli

Si. If only we had-a the dancing puppets that don’t need-a the strings.

Linguini

But you can’t have a dancing puppet without strings.

Stromboli

That’s-a for sure as spaghetti.

Linguini

Something’s bothering me, Mr Stromboli.

Stromboli

And what is that Linguini?

Linguini

Well normally we don’t get up ‘til ten o’clock. But this morning you woke me up at six and said we had to leave right away.

Stromboli

(awkwardly) Ah…well you see…

Linguini

…Oh no, you’ve done it again haven’t you?

Stromboli

(all innocent) Done-a what?

Linguini

All right, who do we owe money to this time?

Stromboli

You remember that man who run-a the betting shop?

Linguini

You mean, that big gorilla with the broken nose and tattooed eyeballs?

Stromboli

Si. That’s-a the one we owe money too.

Linguini

Oh no, we’re dead if he catches up with us! That’s it, I’m ending this partnership as of now. See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya! (goes to leave)

Stromboli

(holds him back) Uno momento. (produces a document) Theese is the contract we drew up when we went into the business.

Linguini

I don’t remember signing any contract.

Stromboli

That’s-a because you can’t write. So I signed it for-a you.

Linguini

I don’t even remember reading it.

Stromboli

That’s-a because you can’t read. So I read it for-a you. (scanning down to the bottom of the page) Here-a we are. ‘If one party wishes to end the partnership, they must give-a the 12 months notice’.

Linguini

So, you’re holding me to a contract that I’ve never read and didn’t sign?

Stromboli

According to my laywers, ‘Kiddem, Fleecem and Scarper’. It’s all perfectly legal and above-a the board. Now let’s go fetch-a the puppets.

They exit (SR)

Dillon enters (SL) followed by a wide-eyed Pinocchio.

Pinocchio

Wow! What a fantastic place!

Stromboli and Linguini re-enter and each carries a puppet. They go behind the black flat and hang the puppets over the front of it.

Dillion

It looks like the puppet show’s about to start, Pinoke.

Pinocchio

Oh, goody!

Pinocchio and Dillon move away and sit down where they can see and be seen. Stromboli brings out 2 ‘puppets’ (see properties) and Linguini starts to attract a crowd.

Linguini

Roll up! Roll up! Come and see Stromboli’s amazing puppet show! Roll up! Roll up!

A crowd gathers and some sit on the bench. Stromboli starts to ‘work the puppets’. Music cue 10: Near the end of the song the ‘puppets’ get more and more out of control and end up getting their strings tangled together.

Stromboli

Mama-mia! (tries to untangle them) This has never happened before ladies and-a gentlemen. Please bear with me for a momento. (as he tries to untangle the strings the audience get fed-up and start to leave) Please-a don’t leave, ladies and gentlemens. (continues trying to untangle them and gets more and more annoyed and shouts in Italian) Burattini stupidi! (translation ‘stupid puppets’) Ahhh! (gives up in frustration and throws down his control bar. The puppets fall in a heap on the floor. The crowd voice their displeasure and exit.

Dillion

This puppet show’s hopeless.

Pinnochio

Well it’s not the puppet’s fault. All those silly strings are getting in their way. I’ll get rid of them. (picks up a pair of scissors from a nearby stall and cuts the puppet’s strings)

Stromboli looks down.

Stromboli

Hey, what’s-a going on Linguini?

Linguini

(pointing at Pinocchio) He’s cut the puppet’s strings, Mr Stromboli!

Pinocchio

Only so they can dance without them getting in the way.

Stromboli

(to Pinocchio) What-a you, crazy? Puppets cannot move without-a strings!

Pinocchio

(to the puppets lying on the floor) Come on then, get up and dance. (pause) What’s the matter with them? Why won’t they move?

Linguini

Because they’re made of wood! Listen! (taps each puppet on the head)

SFX:

Hollow wooden knocking sound.

Stromboli

Puppets cannot move by themselves!

Pinocchio

I can – watch. Music cue 11: After dance ends…

Stromboli

(comes around to the front of the flat) Very nice, liddle boy. But people won’t pay to see you dance, they want-a to see the puppets dance.

Pinocchio

I am a puppet!

Stro/Lin/Dil

(falling about laughing) He’s a puppet!

Linguini

What an imagination you have in that little head of yours. (taps him on the head)

SFX:

Hollow wooden knocking sound.

Dillion

Hey Pinoke! Your head’s as empty as a hermit’s address book!

Stromboli also taps Pinocchio on the head.

SFX:

Hollow wooden knocking sound.

Stromboli

(examines Pinocchio) Mama-mia! He’s-a made of wood!

Linguini

He really is a puppet!

Dillion

Far out man!

Stromboli

(aside to himself) A puppet without-a the strings. I’d make a fortune if I had him in my show. (scheming) Oh, Pinocchio! You seeng and dance so bee-oot-i-fully!

Dillion

You ought to go on ‘Britains Got Talent’, Pinoke.

Stromboli

Forget that cheap little show. How’d-a you like a job, with lots-a money?

Pinocchio

You mean, you want me to work for you?

Stromboli

Yes my boy! You’re a star! They audience, she love-a you!

Pinocchio is about to accept when Jiminy runs on.

Jiminy

Hiya kids! (audience respond)

Pinocchio

Jiminy!

Jiminy

You’re coming with me, Pinoke!

Linguini

(to Pinocchio) Who’s this? Your agent?

Jiminy

Certainly not! I’m Pinocchio’s official conscience. He promised Momma and Poppa Geppetto he’d go to school, and It’s my job to make sure he does.

Pinocchio

Well I won’t go. (turns to Jiminy) So there! (sticks his tongue out)

Jiminy

How can you be so heartless, Pinocchio? Poppa Gepeto made you with his own poor arthritic hands. He could have sold you to buy food for him and momma. (Pinocchio starts to cry) Or fuel to warm their poor old bones. (Pinocchio cries harder) But he loved you so much he couldn’t bear to part with you. He even sold his only coat in order to buy your schoolbooks. (Pinocchio is bawling now) And this is the thanks he gets.

Pinocchio

(sobing) I’m sorry Jiminy. I’ve been selfish and naughty.

Jiminy

Well the main thing is not to be naughty again. Now let’s get you back home and you can make a fresh start tomorrow.

Pinocchio

Ok Jiminy. Bye Dillon, it was nice meeting you. Goodbye Mr Stromboli, I’m sorry for cutting your puppet’s strings.

Pinocchio & Jiminy exit.

Dillion

(to Stromboli) I don’t suppose you could use a break-dancer in your show?

Stromboli

Do you have any acting experience?

Dillion

Well, ah once had mah leg in a cast. (laughs)

Stromboli

I’ll let-a you know.

Dillon

Ok man, see ya round. (exits)

Stromboli

I must have that little stringless puppet in my show. But how to get hold of him without-a his conscience, poking his nose in.

Cattiona and Foxy Loxy enter (SL)

Foxy Loxy

Pardon me, my good man…

Stromboli

…Who are-a you?

Foxy Loxy

Allow me to introduce us. I am Foxy Loxy, actor and musician. And this is Miss Catriona Cuddlepuss…

Catriona

…Actor, singer and toast of Europe’s finest theatres.

Foxy Loxy

And we were wondering if you had an opening for two top class entertainers.

Stromboli

I run a puppet show, not a home for broken-down old has-a beens.

Catriona

How dare you insult my friend!

Stromboli

I was including you also. Anyway, I can’t-a use-a you in my show.

Catriona

I see. Well is there anything else we can do for you?

Stromboli

(scheming) Do you mind-a getting your hands-a dirty?