A Mountain Path

The Grinch & Pinchit enter (SL) Grinch wears a Santa outfit.

Pinchit

That Christmas tree burnt a treat boss.

Grinch

(gleefully) Yes, I always enjoy that part.

Pinchit

What’s next?

Grinch

I’ll just check my list. (takes out a list) Smash all the sledges…Check…Spoil the children’s snowman building competition…Check…Burn down the towns Christmas tree…Check.

Pinchit

That ought to turn the stupid Who’s against Santa.

Grinch

Yes, and this is only the start. By the time I’ve finished they’ll hate him!

Pinchit

(rubs his hands together) Do tell boss.

Grinch

Next, we’ll pinch all the presents from Santa’s workshop.

Pinchit

Yes!

Grinch

Replace them with our own.

Pinchit

Yes! Yes!

Grinch

And let Santa deliver them all to Whoville.

Pinchit

Ye…hang on! That doesn’t sound bad!

Grinch

Yes, but all our presents will be old housebricks.

Pinchit

Brilliant! I’ve been trying for years to get Colin to become bad, but his good side always kept winning.

Grinch

I wasn’t always bad you know.

Pinchit

(surprised) Really?

Grinch

No, I could have been anything I wanted to be. A doctor, a lawyer, a celebrity chef. But they wouldn’t let me be myself. (angrily) They made me who I am.!

Pinchit

And you made me who I am. Music cue 9: Grinch &Pinchit. After song ends…

Polly enters (SR)

Polly

Santa!

Grinch

(alarmed) Where!?

Pinchit

I think she means you boss.

Grinch

Oh yes. (pats Polly on the head) Hello annoying little Who child.

Polly

Where are you going Santa?

Grinch

I’m going to get some batteries to shove up Rudolph’s nose.

Polly

You can’t shove batteries up Rudolph’s nose!

Grinch

Of course I can! It’s a bit messy, I know. But how else would I get his nose to glow?

Polly

Did you get my letter Santa?

Grinch

How should I know! I get millions of letters! What’s your name?

Polly

Polly.

Grinch

Polly who?

Polly

Watt.

Grinch

I said Polly who?

Polly

Watt.

Grinch

Are you hard of hearing or something!?

Polly

Watt’s my name.

Grinch

(snaps) You should know you stupid child!

Pinchit

She’s called Watt, boss!

Grinch

I don’t know! Why do you think I keep asking her?

Polly

My name is Polly Watt!

Grinch

Oh I see. Well why didn’t you say so in the first place?

Polly hugs Grinch.

Polly

I love you Santa.

Grinch

(pushes her away) But I don’t want you to love me!

Polly

Bye Santa, I’ll leave some mince-pies out for you.

Polly exits (SL)

Grinch

(shouts after her) I hate mince-pies!

Pinchit

I love mince-pies. Can I have yours?

Grinch

Shut up and let’s get after her, I’ve got to make her hate me.

Pinchit

You mean Santa?

Grinch

Whatever.

Grinch & Pinchit exit (SL)

Annie, Nora, Colin and the Mayor enter (SR)

Annie

That was so embarrassing!

Nora

It wasn’t my fault! It just came off in my hand!

Colin

(shakes his head) Poor Santa.

Nora

I didn’t even pull it that hard!

Annie

He had tears in his eyes!

Nora

Well how was I to know he’d glued his beard on?

Mayor

Serves him right the impostor.

Colin

You mean, he wasn’t really Santa?

Annie

Even Santa can’t be everywhere at once Colin. So he has helpers to stand in for him.

Colin

Then the real Santa is still at the North pole?

Annie

I suppose so.

Mayor

Then we must go there immediately!

Nora

How are we going to get to the north pole?

Mayor

By chimney.

Nora

I beg your pardon?

Mayor

When I was a little boy, I woke up one Christmas eve and saw Santa going in the fireplace.

Nora

Well maybe he didn’t know where the little boy’s room was.

Mayor

No, no! He stood in the fireplace, spoke some magic words, and then disappeared up the chimney.

Colin

It must be a short cut to the North pole!

Nora

Don’t be daft. (to mayor) You were probably just having a nightmare, Cecil.

Mayor

Well I’ve certainly been one having ever since you turned up.

Annie

Can you remember what Santa said?

Mayor

Yes, he closed his eyes and said…

Annie

Wait! Maybe we should all hold hands while the Mayor says the magic words.

All hold hands and close their eyes.

Mayor

Into the fireplace over the coal,
Up the chimney to the North pole.

Colin opens first one eye, then the other.

Colin

We’re still here.

Annie

Maybe we need to actually stand under a chimney.

Nora

Well don’t look at me, I’m central heating only.

Mayor

The fireplace at my mansion is big enough for all of us. Follow me.