• Sleeping Beauty Version 1

Synopsis:
Dame Thyme has hit on hard times and her and her son Justin, have been surviving on a diet of beetroot for months. Justin is sent to the village to pawn his mother’s wedding ring and there he meets Princess Nightingale, the beautiful daughter of the toffee-nosed King Rolo. She is masquerading as a villager in order to escape the attentions of the evil witch Zendora, who had cast a wicked spell on her when she was only a child. She of course doesn’t believe in witches, but is humouring her parents in the matter. Justin and the Princess fall in love, but they are separated by the actions of Walter the village idiot and Nightingale’s maidservant. Back at the palace the action heats up with the preparations for the royal ball and we meet the feuding royal cooks Salt and Pepper, who play out a vigorous slapstick kitchen scene with comic villains Sage and Onion refereed by the foppish royal Valet. All the while, Walter the village idiot wanders through various scenes for no apparent reason carrying an ever present cardboard box, the contents of which keeps everyone guessing and involves the audience in a `What's in the box Walter' routine. Despite the assistance of Sage and Onion, Zendora is defeated and Dame Thyme’s dark secret is finally revealed.

Roles:
13 principals plus one big slapstick scene for Salt & pepper. Also several minor speaking roles and a chorus.

Runtime:
All of our scripts have a runtime of approx 120 minutes, assuming that you use the full number of suggested musical numbers and not including any interval. But this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit.

Music:
All of our pantomimes come with a full, suggested songs and music cues and SFX list.

Style:
Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.
















Characters
Justin Thyme
Dame Thyme
Princess Nightingale
King Rolo
Queen Beatrice
Valet
Cynthia
Zendora
Fairy Melody
Felix
Sage
Onion
Salt
Pepper
Walter

Chorus/Minor Roles
Villagers
Stallholders
Walter 2
Town Crier
Gorilla


Scene One

The Village Of Tapioca


Music cue 1: Villagers. After song ends…Villagers mingle about upstage. 

Felix enters (SL)

Felix
(to audience) Hiya kids! (little response) I said ‘hiya kids’! (audience respond) That’s better. My name’s Felix and I live right here in the village of Tapioca, in the Kingdom of Ambrosia. It’s a nice little place…no love I said ‘nice’ not ‘rice’. The King doesn’t likanyone making jokes about Ambrosia. And if anyone does the palace guards take them into custardy. Ha-ha, only joking. Ambrosia’s a lovely little place, especially now that the nasty dragon has been slain. It’s true! We used to have a real fire-breathing dragon here and the King offered a huge reward to anyone who could get rid of it. Let me see now…first there was the Pied Piper, who ended up as the ‘fried piper’. Then a knight called Rab, who ended up as a kebab. It was a bit of a lottery until a knight from Camelot speared the dragon, made it rollover and hit the jackpot. And now there’s nothing to be afraid of. Well that’s not quite true, there’s still Dame Thyme. And she’s scarier than any dragon. And talk about taste! She’s the only person I know who was asked to leave a library, because her clothes were too loud. And fancy calling her son Justin, I mean…

Music cue 2: Town Crier enters (SR) and unwinds a scroll.

Town crier
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Their royal majesties hereby invite all citizens of Ambrosia to a fancy-dress ball tomorrow at the palace. To celebrate the eighteenth birthday of Princess Nightingale! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! (rolls up the scroll and exits)

Villagers
(variously) A royal party! How exciting! Etc.

Villagers exit (SR) chattering excitedly.

Walter enters (SL) carrying a cardboard box.

Felix
(to audience) Eh-up, it’s Walter the village idiot. He’s harmless really, but he never goes anywhere without that box of his. We play a little game around here called ‘what’s in the box Walter’? You can all play along if you like. Whenever anyone says ‘what's in the box Walter’? You can all join in. Let’s have a go, shall we? After three…three! (leads audience) What’s in the box Walter? 

Walter
Dripping.

Felix
(looks in box) Shouldn’t it be in a food container? Not, just swilling around loose in a cardboard box. (dips a finger in and tries some) It’s a bit salty this pork dripping.

Walter
It’s not pork dripping. 

Felix
Beef dripping?

Walter
No.

Felix
Well if it’s not pork dripping or beef dripping. Then what kind of dripping is it?

Walter
Nose dripping. (wipes sleeve noisily across his nose and sniffs)

Felix
(gags) Ugggh! I’ll never eat dripping, ever again. By the way, Walter. Have you heard about the royal ball? It’s going to be even bigger than the one they threw for Professor Newton, when he won the Nobel prize.

Walter
(puzzled) Professor Newton won a prize for not having a bell?

Felix
No Walter. It’s the ‘Alfred Nobel’ prize.                                                                          

Walter
So, Alfred won one as well? (thinks) ‘Ere, can I have a one then?

Felix
What for?

Walter
(looks in his box) Well I’ve got no bell either. 

Felix
It’s not the only thing you haven’t got. (circles finger next to head) Goodbye Walter. (guides him off SL) 

Justin Thyme enters (SR)

Justin
Hiya Felix!

Felix
Hiya Justin. Have you heard the news?

Justin 
What news?

Felix
The King and Queen are throwing a fancy-dress ball for Princess Nightingale’s eighteenth birthday, and everyone’s invited.

Justin
Oh, no!

Felix
What’s wrong? I thought you liked a good do.

Justin
Yes, and so does mother. Remember the last time she went to a party?

Felix
(wryly) How could I forget? She thought a pyjama party meant you had to turn up in what you sleep in, and she only sleeps in her birthday suit.

Justin
It was so embarrassing.

Felix
Not half as embarrassing as some of her outfits. (looks about in alarm) She’s not with you, is she?

Justin
No, she’s seeing to her roots.

Felix
Don’t tell me she’s dying her hair again. Your mum changes colour more often than traffic lights.

Justin
Beetroots!

Felix
It’s true, I tell you! 

Justin
No, she’s seeing to her beetroots. It’s the only crop we have left and we’re so short of money, she’s asked me to pawn her wedding ring.

Felix
Aren’t you going to the party then? 

Justin
Wild horses couldn’t drag me there. Besides, the Princess won’t be interested in commoners like us?

Felix
(preening) Speak for yourself.

Justin
Well I'd better be going now. See ya later Felix. (exits SL)

Felix
(calling after him) Bye Justin! (to audience) I think I’d better go too before Dame Thyme turns up. She fancies me like mad and I’d have to be mad to fancy her. I wouldn’t say she was ugly, but she must have sucked an awful lot of lemons to look the way she does. And she’s always knitting me presents. So far she’s knitted me three pairs of socks, none of which match. A scarf that’s longer than a football pitch. And a jumper that feels like I’m wearing a Brillo Pad. I suppose her heart’s in the right place. Unfortunately, it’s the only part of her that is. 

Dame. T
(off) Justin! 

Felix
Oh ‘eck! (starts tiptoeing off SL)

Dame Thyme enters (SR)

Dame. T
Where is that boy? I sent him to the village hours ago. (spots Felix) Oh, Feeelix!

Felix
(turns) Oh no, it’s the creature from the black lagoon.

Dame. T
Blackpool, actually. Well, Felix. You look like the cat that got the cream. 

Felix
(grimaces) I think it’s just curdled.

Dame. T
(framing her face) How do you like my golden tan?

Felix
You never got a tan like that in Blackpool!

Dame. T 
Oh, yes I did…well, from a branch of Boots in Blackpool anyway. (to audience) I love Blackpool, don’t you? Fish and chips, candy floss, bingo…and that was only on the coach going. I even went on the big one…you know…the ‘Coca-Cola’.

Felix
You mean, the ‘Pepsi Max’?

Dame. T 
‘Coca-Cola Pepsi’ what’s the difference? (to audience) Have any of you lot been on it? (audience respond) And were you frightened? (audience respond) I wasn’t. It takes a lot to frighten me.

Felix
(aside to audience) She’s usually the one doing all the frightening.

Dame. T
I beg your pardon?

Felix
I said ‘did anyone get frightened’?

Dame. T
Well there was one young man sat sitting on his own, who looked rather nervous. And as I moved closer I could see him getting more and more frightened.

Felix
I don’t blame him.

Dame. T
So, I sat next to him and grabbed his hand tight and said. ‘calm down love, we haven’t even started yet’. But he just screamed ‘no and we’re not going to’ and jumped off. I suppose the thought of going all the way was just too much for him.

Felix
I completely sympathise with him.

Dame. T
Don’t you like scary rides then?

Felix
It all depends who’s sitting next to me.

Dame. T 
You’d be all right with me holding your hand.

Felix
(to audience) Now that’s scary. (to Dame) I’ll just go and find Justin for you. (turns)

Dame. T
(grabs him) He’ll keep. (coos) So who are you taking to the royal ball, lover-boy?

Felix
(nervous laugh) You know about the ball?

Dame. T 
Yes. You are going, aren’t you? 

Felix
I don’t think I’ll bother. I’m still getting over that last pyjama party.

Dame. T
But that was years ago!

Felix
Was it? (to audience) I suppose the nightmares will stop eventually. (to Dame) I think I’ll just have a quiet night in, instead.

Dame. T
Good idea. You light the candles and I’ll bring a nice bottle of beetroot wine.

Felix
(grimaces) Beetroot wine?

Dame. T
Yes, I’ve got gallons of the stuff. Get that down you and it’ll put hairs on your chest. (runs her hand over his chest) Not that you need many more.

Felix
(pulls her hand away) Are you sure it’s safe to drink?

Dame. T
‘Course it is. Just make sure you keep it away from plastics, upholstery and polished surfaces. 

Felix
On second thoughts, maybe we should go. After all, it is a royal invite. So, what will you be wearing then?

Dame. T
Well I was thinking of going dressed as a giant spoon.

Felix
(to audience) That’ll cause quite a stir.

Dame. T
And what about you?

Felix
I think I’ll go as the invisible man. (to audience) With a bit of luck she won’t see me.

Dame. T
What did you say?

Felix
I said ‘I hope the drinks are free’.

Dame. T
(excited) You’re going then?

Felix
Well they do say there’s safety in numbers.

Dame. T
That's what you think. (tries grabbing him) Give us a kiss!

Felix
(fending her off) All right! Just stand still. Close your eyes and pucker up.

Dame stands with eyes closed and lips pursed. Felix starts tiptoeing off (SR) 

Dame. T
What are you waiting for Felix? (impatient) Hurry up then! (opens her eyes and spots him exiting) Come back, you rotten tease! (runs after him) Music cue 3:

Sage enters (SL)

Sage
(turns and calls) Hurry up slowcoach!

Onion trudges on.

Onion 
(wincing) Ooooh! My feet are killing me! (removes his shoes and rubs his feet)

Sage 
Well put your shoes back on before they kill everybody else.

Onion
Why couldn’t we have caught the bus?

Sage
Because we don’t have any money. We got sacked from our jobs as sheep-shearers, after you fell asleep on the job. 

Onion
Well it’s not easy staying awake when you’re counting sheep all day. 

Sage
You fell asleep after the first one! We’ll have to find another job soon or we’ll starve.

Music cue 4: Zendora enters (SL)

Onion
(pointing to Zendora) Let’s ask her where the job centre is?

Sage
Leave it to me.  (to Zendora) Excuse me Mrs.

Zendora
(snaps) Ms! (Mizzz!)

Onion
(looks around) There’s a bee in here somewhere. 

Sage
Do you know where the job centre is? Only we’re looking for work.

Zendora
(scheming) Then this could be your lucky day. It just so happens I’m looking for two vill…I mean…willing helpers.

Sage
(nudges Onion) We’re in here.

Onion
(uneasy) I’m not so sure. There’s something strange about her.

Sage
Look who’s talking. (to Zendora) Sage and Onion are at your service, madam.

Zendora
Excellent. You won’t regret it, gentlemen.

Onion
(to Zendora) So what’s the pay like?

Zendora
If you are up to the task, you could become rich beyond your wildest dreams.

Onion
(sidles up against her) I must warn you, I have some pretty wild dreams.

Sage
(drags Onion away) We’re your men, Mrs.

Zendora
(snaps) Ms! (Mizzz!)

Onion
(looks around again) There’s that bee again.

Sage
(to Zendora) What do you want us to do then?

Zendora 
I want you to carry something out for me.

Onion
No problem. 

Sage
Where do you want us to carry it?

Zendora
I don’t want you to carry it anywhere.

Onion
(to Sage) I told you she was weird.

Zendora
It’s a ‘plan’ you fools!

Onion
It must be a big one if you need help carrying it.

Sage
Don’t you know what a plan is?

Onion
‘Course I do. (rubs his tum) I like cheese and tomato myself.

Zendora
I said a ‘plan’ not a ‘flan’! 

Sage
(to Onion) How did I ever get lumbered with you?

Onion
(puzzled) We’ve got the same mum!

Sage
Yes, and that’s the only reason I put up with you.

Onion
If mum could see the way you treat me, she’d turn in her grave.

Sage
(exclaims) Mum’s not dead!

Onion
Isn’t she?

Sage
No, she’s alive and well and working in Iceland!

Onion
I didn’t know she’d emigrated.

Sage 
She works in frozen foods, you idiot!

Onion
Well it is cold over there.

Sage 
Twit! If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your own nose!

Onion
That’s not funny. (laughs to audience) ‘Snot’ funny. Get it?

Zendora
Let me explain gentlemen. 

All huddle and whisper - then separate.

Sage
That’s a cunning wicked and evil plan.

Zendora
I know, but you won’t get paid extra for flattery. 

Sage
You can rely on us Mrs.

Zendora
(furious) Mizzzzz!

Onion
(looking around) That bee’s still here.

Zendora
Fool! There is no bee!

A Child dressed as a Bee runs across stage behind them and exits opposite side, but only Onion spots it. 

Onion
(encourage audience) Oh yes, there is!

Zen & Sage
Oh no, there isn’t! 

Onion
(to audience) If that Bee appears again, will you all make a loud buzzing noise like this? Bzzzzzz! (audience ‘yes’) Great. 

The Bee enters again and stands behind them and audience respond.

Onion
(to audience) Is the giant bee behind us now? (audience ‘yes’)

Zen & Sage
(to audience) Oh no, it isn’t! 

Onion
(encourage audience) Oh yes, it is!

Sage
Right then, I’ll prove there’s no bee behind us. On the count of three we’ll all turn. (counts slowly) 1…2…3!

As the count starts, the Bee exits. 

All turn and discover nothing there.

Sage
You see? There’s no giant bee behind us.

The Bee enters again and stands behind them and audience shout.

Onion
Is the giant bee behind us again? (audience ‘yes’)

Zen & Sage
Oh no, it isn’t! 

Onion
(encourage audience) Oh yes, it is!

Sage
It doesn’t matter anyway, ‘cos bees are quite nice really.

Bee nods its head and poses.

Onion
Yeah and they make lovely sweet honey.

Bee nods its head and rubs its tummy.

Zendora
Well I hate bees. They’re nasty stinging things. And for some strange reason, my magic doesn’t work on them. If I had my way they’d all be exterminated!

Bee stands with hands on hips and then angrily taps Zendora on the back.

Zendora
(turns) Arghh! A giant Bee! 

The Bee jumps about angrily and turns its stinger towards Zendora. 

Zendora
No! Keep it away from me! 

The Bee backs (stinger first) towards Zendora.

Zendora
Arrrgh! Help! (runs off SL chased by the Bee)

Onion
(to Sage) It soon made her buzz off.

Sage
She’ll be back. And if we manage to pull this job off, we could end up rich.

Onion
What would you do if you were rich?

Sage
I’ll tell you. Music cue 5: Sage. After song ends…What would you do if you had loads of money?

Onion
I’d put it all in a big oxo tin and hide it under the bed.

Sage
Why?

Onion
‘Cos that’s what mum always did.

Sage
Only to stop the landlord getting his hands on it. (knowingly) Mind you, it wasn't the only thing he tried getting his hands on.

Onion
That’s true. Maybe that's why mum emigrated.

Sage
Mum hasn't emigrated, but maybe you should.

Onion
Why?

Sage
To stop me from throttling you! (goes to grab him)

Onion
Ohwerr! 

Sage chases Onion Music cue 6:  Both exit (SL) 

Music cue 7: Fairy enters (SR) 

Fairy Light
Zendora has her foolish pair,
She thinks they’ll be of use to her.
But the royal party grows ever near,
A time Zendora would fill with fear.
The Princess Nightingale will have to beware,
But I will be near to lend a care. (exits SR)

Blackout - cloth/tabs in - lights up.


Scene Two

On The Road


Dame Thyme enters (SL) carrying a heavy bag which she drops (CS)

Dame. T 
Well that’s the last of the beetroot dug up. And once those have gone, we’ll have nothing left to eat. (elicits sympathy) Do you know folks, we’re so poor we’ve been eating nothing but beetroot for the past three months. We’ve had pickled beetroot, beetroot soup, beetroot pie, beetroot mash and beetroot chips. If I eat any more beetroot, I’ll start to look like one. And I’ve had to dig this lot up on my own, because Justin’s nowhere to be found. I would’ve asked Felix to help, but every time we meet he goes to pieces. (preens) He’s obviously overawed by my ravishing beauty. I said if he dug beneath the surface he would discover the real me. But he just said he wasn't interested in archaeology. Silly boy. I don’t care what he does for a living. 

Justin enters (SR)

Justin
(cheerily) Hello mum!

Dame. T
You took your time. Mind, you've always been a slow child. 72hrs of agonising labour you caused me before you were born.

Justin
You can't blame me for that!

Dame. T
Well I suppose your father might’ve had something to do with it.

Justin
I should hope he did! Otherwise you know what that makes me.

Dame. T
Let’s not rake up the past Justin, there’s a good boy. You know it only upsets me. 

Justin
Let sleeping dogs lie, eh?

Dame. T
Exactly.

Justin
Let bygones be bygones.

Dame. T 
I couldn’t have put it better myself.

Justin
Should auld acquaintance be forgot…

Dame. T
…And never brought to mind. 

Both
(sing) #Should auld acquaintance be forgot for the sake of auld-lang-syne# 

Dame. T 
(sniffs) I’m filling up now. It was after a new year’s party that your father ran off with that barmaid, from the Frog and Firkin.

Justin
But you told me he’d abducted by aliens!

Dame. T
Well she’s the closest I’ve seen to one. 

Walter enters (SL)

Dame. T
Oh, look. It’s Ambrosia’s very own mastermind.

Justin
(leads audience) What’s in the box Walter? 

Walter
A box.

Justin 
Yes, but what’s in it?

Walter 
A box.

Justin
(frustrated) I know it’s a box, Walter. But what’s in it? 

Walter
A box!

Dame. T
(to audience) This could go on for some time, so if you’d like to get a drink or use the loo. Now’s your chance.

Justin
Let’s have a look. (opens the box and takes out a smaller box) It’s a box!

Walter
(to audience) Why doesn’t anybody ever listen? (exits SR with boxes)

Justin
(stares closely at Dame) Are you all right mum? You look a bit red in the face.

Dame. T
It’s all those flaming beetroots I’ve been eating. They’re ruining my complexion. (to audience) Do you know boys and girls, I used to have such beautiful skin that Oil of Olay used me in their TV ads.

Justin
Only to show what you'd look like if you didn’t use it.

Dame. T
Cheek! I got a year’s supply of anti-wrinkle cream for those ads.

Justin
Well you’ve obviously never used any of it.

Dame. T
I never needed to. I’ve always had smooth wrinkle-free skin.

Justin
So, what did you do with it all?

Dame. T
What do you think you’ve been having in your sandwiches for the past three months?

Justin
Ughh! I thought it was funny tasting cheese spread.

Dame. T
Yes, but just think of the benefits.

Justin
What benefits?

Dame. T
When you’re old and wrinkled on the outside, you’ll still be young on the inside (laughs) Now how much did you get for my ring?

Justin
Seventy-five pence.

Dame. T
(exclaims) Seventy-five pence? That ring was eighteen-carat gold!

Justin
No, it wasn’t. You dipped in gold paint. The pawnbroker only gave me seventy-five pence, because for some unknown reason, he fancies you.

Dame. T
(outraged) My fancies are worth more than seventy-five pence! Still, beggars can’t be choosers. (grabs the money and counts it) There’s only twenty-five pence here.

Justin
The paint hadn’t dried properly, and he charged me fifty pence for white spirit to get it off his hands.

Dame. T
White spirit? I’ll give him white spirit! He’ll be a white spirit, when I get hold of him! 

Justin
Never mind him mum. Have you heard about the royal ball?

Dame. T
Oh, yes! Felix practically begged me to go with him. I wonder if he’ll wear that jumper, I knitted him for his birthday?

Justin
You can’t expect him to wear that thing! It’s got one sleeve longer than the other.

Dame. T
Can I help it if I ran out of wool?

Justin
I don’t know why you bother mum. You know you’re hopeless at knitting.

Dame. T
Rubbish. Everyone says I’m a great knitter.

Justin
No mum, it just sounds like they’re saying you’re a ‘great knitter’.

Dame. T
Oh, what do you know?

Justin
Anyway, I’d better going. I have to pick up some corn from the market. Bye mum. (exits SL)

Dame. T
(shouts after him) What about helping me with these beetroots? (annoyed) Kids! Music cue 8: Dame Thyme. I suppose I’d better try and sell these, otherwise its beetroot provencale tonight. Ta-ra folks, see you later. (exits SR)

Blackout - cloth/tabs out - lights up.


Scene Three

The Palace Throne Room


Music cue 9: Palace Maids. After song ends…Cynthia enters (SR)

Cynthia
(scolding) What are you lot doing in here?

Maid 
We’re practising our dance for the royal ball.

Cynthia
Well you can’t practice in here. 

Maid 
But what about our par-de-deur?

Cynthia
You'll have to par-de-do it somewhere else.

King Rolo
(off) Valet! 

Cynthia
(shooing them off) Hurry! The King mustn’t catch you in here! (ushers maids off SL)

King Rolo enters (SR) dressed in a shirt and jacket, minus his trousers and wearing long-johns or boxer shorts.

King Rolo
Where is that man? My legs are freezing!

Valet rushes on (SL) carrying a pair of trousers.

Valet
(sweetly) Here I am your majesty.

King Rolo
And about time too. I nearly had to finish dressing myself.

Valet
(horrified) Oh, no sire. A King must never dress himself.

King Rolo
Why ever not?

Valet
Dressing royalty is a highly skilled job, sire. One must be trained.

King Rolo
Nonsense man. I know which leg goes where in a pair of trousers.

Valet
But where would it all end sire? Before you know it, one will be expected to empty the royal chamber pot oneself. 

King Rolo
(grimaces) Uggh! That wouldn’t be in keeping with one’s royal status, would it?

Valet
Certainly, not your majesty. (holds trousers for King to get dressed)

The King tries putting his right leg in the left trouser leg.

Valet 
No sire, the other leg!

The King takes his right leg out and puts his left leg in the right trouser leg.

Valet 
No! Left leg sire! Left leg!

King Rolo
Dash it all man, make up your mind. 

Helped by the Valet, Rolo finally manages to get it right and pulls on his pants.

Queen Beatrice enters (SR)

Queen Bea
(brightly) Good morning Rolo, my sweet!

King Rolo
Morning Bea. How go the preparations for the royal ball? 

Queen Bea
Invitations have been sent to all the dignitaries in the land, and the town crier is visiting every village in the kingdom.

King Rolo
Splendid! And have the royal cooks produced a menu fit for the occasion?

Queen Bea
Not yet. But I hear they’re planning to come up with something extraordinary.

King Rolo
It’ll be extraordinary if they come up with anything at all. And if we have to send out for pizza again, they’ll have to go. 

Queen Bea
(getting emotional) Just think Rolo. Our little girl is eighteen tomorrow.

King Rolo
Yes, and then she’ll finally be free of Zendora’s wicked spell.

Queen Bea
Now you’re sure there are no spinning wheels left in the kingdom?

King Rolo
Of, course I am. We had that extra big bonfire on Guy Fawkes night, remember?

Queen Bea
Oh, yes I remember. And someone mistook you for the guy.

King Rolo
Yes, and I sacked the Valet who dressed me that night. (glances at Valet)

Valet
I’m Savile Row trained your majesty.

King Rolo
‘Saville Row’!? More like Coronation Street.

Nightingale bounces happily on (SR) 

Nightingale
Good morning everyone! 

King Rolo
Ah, Nightingale. Your mother and I were just discussing your birthday party.

Queen Bea
Have you had many cards dear?

Nightingale
Yes, mother. Aalthough this one…(produces a card)…was rather strange.

King Rolo
Why? What does it say?

Nightingale
(reads) ‘For your eighteenth birthday the kingdom doth prepare,
But now is the time for all to beware.
Nothing can stop me though spinning wheels burn,
So, get yourselves ready for Zendora’s return’.

Kin/Qu/Val
She’s back!

Nightingale
Who’s back?

King Rolo
Zendora! 

Queen Bea
We’ve never told you about her, dear.

King Rolo
We didn’t want to upset you.

Nightingale
Why would it upset me? Who is Zendora anyway?

Queen Bea
Zendora’s a witch who cast a wicked spell on you when you were only a baby. 

Nightingale
(sceptical laugh) Really, mother. Witches belong in Fairy tales. Next you’ll be telling me you believe in horoscopes.

Queen Bea
(to King) Can’t you just tell she’s a Scorpio?

King Rolo
Zendora vowed that on your eighteenth birthday, you would prick your finger on a spinning wheel and…die!

Nightingale
Well you needn’t worry your superstitious little heads. I have no intention of going near any old spinning wheels, even if there were any. And I don’t believe in fairies, witches or…(football team)…winning the FA cup.

King Rolo
You must stay in your room until tonight, Nightingale. That way the royal guards can protect you.

Nightingale
But I don’t want to spend all day in the stuffy old palace.

Queen Bea
The palace isn’t stuffy. I had it hoovered only yesterday.

Valet
Pardon me your majesties.

Queen Bea
Why? Have you committed a crime?

King
Have you seen what he’s wearing?

Valet
Very droll your majesty. But won’t Zendora expect to find the Princess at the palace?

King Rolo
Yes, and if she shows up here we’ll be ready for her. (shouts) Guards!

All move upstage and Royal Guards enter. Music cue 10: Guards. After song ends…Guards exit.

King Rolo
She’ll never get past the palace guards.

Valet
She got past them before sire. The Princess might be be safer in the village than the palace.

King Rolo
Don’t be ridiculous, she’d stand out a mile!

Valet
Not if she dresses like a villager, sire.

King Rolo
(outraged) I won’t have my daughter wearing rags!

Nightingale
The villagers don’t wear rags these days, father.

King Rolo
(surprised) They don’t?

Valet
Oh, no sire. The high street is full of designer clothes shops. I got this outfit from a little boutique called ‘Buttons and Bows’ (twirls)

Walter enters (SR)

King Rolo
(pointing at Walter) How did he get in here?

Valet
I haven't a clue sire.

King Rolo
(dryly) So what's new? (short pause) Well don’t just stand there, ask him.

Valet
Yes, sire. (to Walter) How did you get inside the palace Walter?

Walter
(shrugs) I don’t know.

Valet
(to King) He doesn't know your majesty.

King Rolo
But I thought everyone knew me.

Valet
No, your majesty…I mean yes your majesty…I mean, he knows your majesty, your majesty, but he doesn’t know how he got in, your majesty.

King Rolo
Is he an idiot?

Valet
Yes, your majesty.

King Rolo
(snaps) Are you taking the royal mickey?

Valet
No sire. Walter is our official village idiot.

King Rolo 
Oh, I see. Well then find out what’s in his box.

Valet
Yes, sire. (leads audience) What’s in the box Walter?

Walter
Chips for my Computer.

Queen Bea
He can’t be that stupid if he knows about computers.

Nightingale
Are they memory chips?

Walter
No. Potato chips.

Nightingale
A computer can’t work on potato chips, Walter.

Walter
Mine does, he loves them.

All
He?

Walter
My pet mouse.

Queen Bea
(laughs) A computer mouse! 

Walter
I called him ‘Computer’ because he’s so clever.

King Rolo
Compared to you, he’s probably a genius.

Walter
Well, I’d better be off before these chips get cold. (exits SL)

Queen Bea
What a strange person.

Nightingale 
At least he can come and go as he pleases. Unlike me. (sighs)

Lights dim and all remain still as a spotlight falls on Nightingale Music cue 11:  Nightingale. After song ends…Lights come back up and the action resumes.

King Rolo
(relents) Oh, very well Nightingale. You may go. Just promise you’ll be careful.

Nightingale
(excited) I promise! Oh, I’d better go and get changed! (exits SR)

Valet
Wait for me your highness! I know just the outfit! (exits SR)

King Rolo
I hope she’ll be all right.

Queen Bea
Well at least there aren’t any dragons left to worry about.

King Rolo
That reminds me. What time’s your mother arriving?

Queen Bea
(annoyed) Oooh! Mother warned me against marrying you. She said I should’ve married someone with a trade.

King Rolo
(gobsmacked) But…but…but I’m a King!

Queen Bea
That’s all very well, but what could you turn your hand to if you lost your crown?

King Rolo
But I’m not going to lose my crown.

Queen Bea
King Rudolph of Lapland lost his crown, and look what happened to him.

King Rolo
(worried) What happened to him?

Queen Bea
He didn’t reign, dear. (chuckles) Rudolph didn’t ‘reign-dear’? 

King Rolo
Enough of this silliness. Let’s go and make sure that fool of a valet doesn’t dress Nightingale in silks and pearls, from ‘Buttons and Bows’. 

King and Queen exit (SR)

Sleeping Beauty Version 1

  • Product Code: sleepingbeauty
  • Availability: In Stock
  • £3.00


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