• Cinderella Version 3

 

Synopsis:
Baron Hardup owes Count de Cash rent arrears and is being threatened with eviction. But the Count offers to forget the rent in return for being allowed to marry Cinderella. And despite pressure from the Baroness and her ugly daughters Anorexia and Bulimia, the Baron refuses the Count’s offer. This infuriates the Baroness and her two ugly daughters, who turn on Cinders and treat her even more cruelly. And when a royal ball is announced, Cinderella is refused permission to go. Meanwhile the Count hires inept debt-collectors and one-time private detectives Hyde & Seek, to collect the rent or throw the Hardup family out. But things take a turn for the better, when Cinder’s Fairygodmother appears and helps her go to the royal ball. There she meets and falls in love with the Prince, but the evening turns bad when Cinders overstays her time and has to flee before her true identity is revealed. But with the help of her friend Buttons and her Fairygodmother, there is sure to be a happy ending for Cinders and her Prince.

Roles:
12 principals plus 2 smaller roles and a chorus.

Runtime:
All of our scripts have a runtime of approx 120 minutes, assuming that you use the full number of suggested musical numbers and not including any interval. But this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit.

Music:
All of our pantomimes come with a full, suggested songs and music cues and SFX list.

Style:
Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.







 

Characters
Cinderella
Prince Charming
Buttons
Dandini
Lambrini
Prosecco
Hyde
Seek
Count de Cash
Baroness Hardup
King
Queen
Baron Hardup
Fairygodmother

Chorus/Minor roles
Maids
Ball Guests
Palace retinue, etc


Scene One

Hardup Hall


Music cue 2 Maids. After song ends…All exit (SR)

Buttons runs on (SL) calling.

Buttons
Cinders! Cinders! (spots audience) Oh, hello. I’m looking for Cinderella. You haven’t seen her have you She’s about…(indicates)…so big, with…(relevant colour)…hair and the sweetest smile and…(sighs)…I’m madly in love with her. But I’m too shy to tell her. Hang on, you don’t know who I am do you (audience respond) Some of you have seen this panto before, haven’t you But for those that haven’t, my name is ‘Buttons’ and I’m the Butler here at Hardup Hall. I’m looking for Cinders because her new stepsisters move in today, and apparently they’re real horrors. So I’m trying to find Cinders and warn her. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll carry on looking for her. See you all later. (runs off USR)

The Uglies enter through the door and drop their luggage on the floor.

Lambrini 
(looking around) What a dump this place is. I thought mother said old Baron Hardup, was loaded.

Prosecco 
Perhaps he’s an eccentric millionaire. You know the sort. Millions in the bank, but still goes around dressed in rags.

Lambrini
Well he’d better not expect us to do likewise.

Buttons enters (SR)

Buttons
(to audience) I can’t find Cinders anywhere. (spots Uglies and whispers to audience) They must be the Baron’s new stepdaughters.

Prosecco
(to Buttons) Who are you 

Lambrini
Maybe he’s a burglar.

Buttons
I’m not a burglar!

Prosecco
Can you prove you’re not a burglar

Buttons
Of course I can.

Lambrini
How

Buttons
Well everybody knows that burglars wear striped jumpers and masks, and carry a big bag with ‘SWAG’ written on it.  

Prosecco
He’s right Lambrini. I saw it once in an old silent movie.

Buttons
Are you sure you weren’t in it

Prosecco
(threatens him) Watch it, buster. 

Buttons
My name’s not Buster, it’s Buttons. And I’m the butler here at Hardup Hall.

Prosecco
(to Buttons) Then maybe you can tell us who let all this riff-raff…(indicates audience)…in

Buttons
I think they’re tourists. 

Uglies
Tourists!

Buttons
Yes. The Baron’s opened Hardup Hall to the public, to help bring in more money.

Lambrini
Well I hope they’re house-trained. 

Prosecco
(to audience) Have you all wiped your feet before coming in

Lambrini
(peering out) Some of them look as though they haven’t wiped their face, never mind their feet. 

Cinderella enters (SR)

Buttons
Cinders! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.

Cinderella
What did you want Buttons?

Buttons
(glances at the Uglies) It doesn’t matter now.

Cinderella
(to Uglies) Hello there! You must be my new stepsisters. Father said you’d be arriving today.

Prosecco 
Then why didn’t you come and meet us

Cinderella
I meant too. But I’ve been up all night cleaning out fireplaces, and was so tired that I fell asleep.  

Lambrini
Mother said you were always falling asleep on the job.

Prosecco
She also said you were a ‘lazy good for nothing, layabout’.

Buttons
Cinders isn’t lazy! She works really hard she does.

Cinderella
Thank you, Buttons. And you work really hard too.

Lambrini
What’s this, a mutual appreciation society

Baron Hardup enters (SL)

Baron
(cheery) Good morning everyone!

Uglies
Hello, stepdaddykins!

Cinderella
Good morning father.

Baron    
Hello Cinders. I see you’ve met your stepsisters…(introducing them in turn)…Lambrini and Prosecco. 

Cinderella
Yes, father.

Prosecco
The pleasure was all hers.

Baron
(to Buttons) Buttons, take the bags up to their rooms.

Buttons
Yes, Baron. (takes the Uglies by the arm) This way, ladies. 

Uglies
(shove him away) Geerroff!

Baron
I meant their luggage, Buttons.

Buttons
Sorry, my mistake. (struggles to lift the cases) Gnnng! What’s in these cases

Lambrini 
Mine’s full of makeup.

Prosecco
So that’s ten kilos of Polyfilla.

Buttons
(to Prosecco) And what’s in yours

Prosecco
It’s my liquid detox.

Lambrini 
Otherwise known as ‘Scotch’.

Buttons
I’ll just go and fetch a sack-barrow. (exits SL)

Baroness enters (USL) 

Baron    
See you later girls. (holding up his pension book) I’m just off to collect my pension. 

Baroness 
(grabs the pension book) I’ll take that. 

Baron    
But…but…but…

Baroness
My girls will fetch it for you, and save your old legs.

Prosecco
(takes the book) Thank you!

Cinderella
(to Baron) I’ll go with them, father.

Baroness
Oh no, you won’t. You’ll be too busy doing chores.

Lambrini
And try not to fall asleep this time.

Prosecco
(waving the pension-book at Lambrini) Let’s go shopping sis’.

Lambrini 
Oooh, yes! I’m going to buy myself a whole new outfit.

Prosecco
Me too. 

Baron
My pension isn’t for spending on new outfits for you two!

Baroness
You can’t expect the girls to dress in tatty old clothes. 

Cinderella
Tatty clothes are all I ever wear.

Lambrini 
It’s hardly our fault you have no dress sense. 

Prosecco
Although somehow, tatty clothes seem quite suited to her. 

Uglies exit (SL) laughing as Buttons enters with a sackbarrow.

Baron
(to Baroness) How am I supposed to pay the bills, if they spend all my money

Baroness
Go and get a payday loan. (pushes him off SL and both exit)

Cinderella
(sighs) Poor father. I feel so sorry for him.

Buttons
Cheer up Cinders. 

Cinderella
I wish I could, Buttons.

Buttons
I’ve got something that might help. Stay right there and don’t move. (exits SL)

Cinderella
I wonder what Buttons is up too, now

Buttons re-enters hiding a Teddy Bear behind his back.

Buttons
I’ve got something here that’ll help to cheer you up Cinders. 

Cinderella
(intrigued) What is it Buttons

Buttons    
It’s something I’ve spent years playing with, and it’s given me lots of pleasure. Now close your eyes and hold out your hand, and I’ll give it to you.

Cinderella
Okay, Buttons. (to audience) I can’t wait to see what it is. (closes her eyes) 

Buttons
Here you are then. (places a threadbare teddy into her hands. It has only one arm and also has an eye missing)

Cinderella
(feeling the Teddy) Oh, it feels lovely and soft. I wonder what it could be.

Buttons
Open your eyes and see.

Cinderella
(opens her eyes) It’s a teddy bear! Oh Buttons, how sweet of you.

Buttons
He’s, Fred Bear. 

Cinderella
I can see that. But I’m sure he’ll look much better once I’ve stitched his arm back on, replaced his missing eye and put some more stuffing in.

Buttons
No, his name’s ‘Fred Bear’. I’ve had him ever since I was a child.

Cinderella
You mean, you’re giving me your favourite teddy 

Buttons
Yes, Cinders. I thought you might like to cuddle it in bed at night, whenever you feel a bit down.

Cinderella
That’s very thoughtful of you. (hugs him) I do love you Buttons. 

Buttons
(delighted) Oh Cinders, you’ve just made me the happiest person in the world. And once we’re married…

Cinderella
(shocked) Married!

Buttons
I know it’s a little bit sudden, Cinders. But I love you and you love me, and…

Cinderella
…I’m really sorry Buttons, but I think you’ve misunderstood me.

Buttons
You mean, you don’t love me

Cinderella
I do love you Buttons, but only as a friend.

Buttons
(deflated) A friend

Cinderella
Yes, Buttons. My closest and dearest friend. (kisses his cheek)

Buttons
(sighs to audience) So near and yet so far.

Uglies enter (SL) carrying Primark shopping bags.

Lambrini
A pension doesn’t go far these days, does it Bet 

Prosecco
You’re telling me. We couldn’t afford a single designer outfit, and had to settle for Primark instead. 

Cinderella
Father’s pension won’t stretch to buying designer outfits!

Buttons
No, but any outfit would have to stretch to fit those two.

Lambrini
How would you like us to stretch your neck, Brackets

Buttons
It’s ‘Buttons’!

SFX Loud knocking at door.

Prosecco 
I wonder who that could be.

Lambrini
(to Prosecco) It could be the store-detective.

Prosecco
(to Lambrini) Let’s get out of here, quick!

Uglies dash off (SL) knocking over the Baron who is just entering

Lambrini
Out of our way, you decrepit old fool!

Cinderella
Father! 

Baroness enters (SL) as Cinderella and Buttons help the Baron to his feet.

Baroness
I see your father’s reached the falling down stage, Cinderella. I’d better order him a zimmer-frame.

Baron
I don’t need a zimmer-frame! Your daughters knocked me over as they rushed off. 

Baroness
Then maybe you should move out of their way a bit quicker.

SFX Louder knocking at door.

Baroness
Answer the door, Buttons

Buttons
Yes, mistress.

Buttons opens the door and Count de Cash enters. 

Count
Greetings, I am Count de Cash.

Baroness
What can we do for you Count

Count    
Baron Hardup is weeks overdue with the rent. 

Baroness
Really (snaps at Baron) Why haven’t you paid the rent

Baron    
But I gave you the money to pay the Count.

Baroness
Paying the rent is your responsibility. 

Count
She’s right Baron. Now pay up.

Baron
I can’t. Ever since I re-married, my portfolio has shrunk to almost nothing.

Baroness
(dryly) It wasn’t all that big to start with.

Baron
(to Bailiff’s) I’m afraid I find myself financially embarrassed, at the moment.

Buttons
And he’s skint an’ all.

Cinderella
(to Count) Perhaps you and father could come to some arrangement, Count.

Count
(leering at Cinders and stroking his chin) Mmm. Yes, my dear. Perhaps we could.  

Baron
Anything Count, just name it.

Count
Very well Baron. Allow me to marry one of your daughters, and I’ll waive the rent.

Uglies rush on (SL) jostling for position.

Prosecco
Did somebody mention ‘marriage’ 

Baroness
Yes, girls. Count de Cash has kindly offered to waive our rent, in return for marrying one of you.

Lambrini 
Marry me!

Prosecco
No, me!

Uglies
(facing each other) Me! Me! Me!

Baroness
So which one of my daughters do you wish to marry, Count

Count    
(indicating Uglies) Well neither of those two old hags for a start.

Uglies
Cheek!

Baron
But that only leaves Cinderella. 

Count
(rubbing his hands together in anticipation) Indeed. 

Buttons
Cinders can’t possibly marry you, Count!

Baroness
(snaps) Who asked you

Cinderella
Buttons is right. (to Count) I’m afraid you’re a bit too old for me, Count.

Baroness
Don’t be ridiculous girl. Millionaires are ageless.

Count    
(to Cinders) Marry me and your family can live here rent-free, forever. Refuse, and you’ll all be out on your ear by the end of the week. It’s your choice.

Cinderella
I’m sorry Count, but when I marry it will be for love not money.

Lambrini
She’s stark raving mad!

Prosecco
(to Cinders) Do you want us all to be evicted 

Cinderella
Of course not!

Baroness
(yelling at Cinders) Then marry the Count!

Cinderella
(seeking support) Father

Baron
Don’t worry, Cinders. I’d never force you to marry against your will. We’ll find the money somehow. 

Count    
Have it your way, Baron. The debt-collectors will call round tomorrow. And if you can’t pay up, then out you go. (storms off SL)

Baroness
(to Cinders) You, selfish girl! 

Lambrini 
You could’ve set us up for life!

Prosecco
How are we going to pay the rent now

Buttons
Well you two could get a job for a start. 

Uglies
Ooooh! (faint against each other in shock)

Lambrini
I need to have a lie down. 

Prosecco
Me too. I’ve got one of my heads coming on

Buttons
Well I hope it’s better than the one you’ve got on at the moment.

Uglies
Shut it, Buckets! 

Buttons
It’s ‘Buttons’!

Uglies exit (SL)

Baroness
(to Cinders) You’ll live to regret your decision. (aside to audience) I’ll make sure of that. (exits SL)

Cinderella
Thanks for sticking up for me father.

Buttons
(does fist knock with Baron) Yeah, respect Baron. 

Baron
Thank you Buttons. But it does leave me with a big problem. Namely, how to raise the rent money. 

Cinderella
Couldn’t you extend your overdraft, father

Baron
No, my overdraft is already over its limit. Oh, if only I were rich. Music cue 3  Baron. After song ends…

Buttons
(exclaims) I’ve got it! Why don’t you have a car-boot sale 

Baron
I don’t own a car.

Buttons
Table-top sale?

Cinderella 
The only table we have is in the kitchen, and I always use that.

Buttons
‘Come dine with me’?

Baron
Well it’s a very kind offer Buttons. But how will you treating us to a meal, help.

Buttons
No Baron, it’s the name of a TV cookery programme. You cook a meal and invite people round. And whoever cooks the best meal wins £1,000.

Cinderella
Forget it Buttons, the pantry’s empty. 

Baron
I’ll just search the house and see what I can find, to take to the pawnshop. (starts to exit SR)

Buttons
I’ll give you a hand Baron. (to Cinders) See you later Cinders.

Baron and Buttons exit (SR)

Cinderella
Poor father. I couldn’t bear to see him lose Hardup Hall. Maybe I should put my own feelings aside, and marry Count de Cash after all.  Music cue 4 Cinderella. After song ends...She slowly hangs her head as lights dim.

Lights dim to blackout - clothtabs in - The Debt Collectors Kiosk is pushed on to centre stage - lights up.


Scene Two

The Debt Collector’s Kiosk


Above the kiosk is a notice that says, HYDE AND SEEK - PRIVATE  DETECTIVES  MOBILE DEBT COLLECTORS. 

Count    
(to audience) Nobody cheats me out of money. I’ll get my rent or Cinderella, you’ll see. What’s this (reads) ‘Hyde & Seek - Mobile Debt Collectors’. This could be just what I’m looking for. (knocks on the kiosk’s counter) 

Hyde
(from inside the kiosk) I think we have a customer.

Seek
(from inside the kiosk) Have a look and see who it is then.

Hyde
No fear, it might be the ex-wife after her alimony.

Seek
All right then, I’ll look. (raises his head above the counter) Can I help you, sir?

Count
(offers a handshake) ‘Count de Cash’!

Hyde’s arm suddenly appears and yanks Seek down behind the counter.

Hyde
(loud stage whisper) He’s obviously a robber, leave this to me. (appears above the counter - to Count) You’re wasting your time pal; we don’t keep any money on the premises.

Count 
I’m not after money. Well not yours, anyway.

Hyde
In that case, how may we help you

Count
I require a debt collecting.

Seek
(re-appears) Then you’ve come to the right place. Hyde and Seek are the premier debt-collection agency in…(local place name)

Hyde
We’re the only debt-collection agency in…(local place name)

Seek
Which proves my point, does it not (to Count) So what debts do you want collecting, then?

Count
I want you to collect an outstanding debt of £100, from Baron Hardup.

Hyde
How are we going to collect money from somebody who’s hard up

Count
He isn’t hard up.

Seek
But you just said he was.

Count    
His name’s ‘Baron Hardup’, and he lives at Hardup Hall.

Hyde
You mean that big house on Stoneybroke Lane?

Count
You know it then?

Seek 
Oh yes, we’ve been down Stoneybroke Lane many times. (to Hyde) Haven’t we?

Hyde
Yeah. Not to mention Skint Road, Brassic Avenue and Destitute Drive. 

Count
Baron Hardup’s always pleading poverty, but I think he has a fortune tucked away for a rainy day.

Hyde
We’d better wait for a rainy day then.

Count
What for?

Hyde
Well if the Baron has a fortune tucked away for a rainy day, shouldn’t we wait until it rains and then nab him when he takes it out.

Count
(to audience) I can’t employ these two idiots. (to Hyde & Seek) Forget it, I’ll find somebody else for the job. (turns to go)

Seek comes out of the kiosk and grabs the Count’s arm.

Seek
Don’t go! I must apologise for my associate; he has the brain of an ant.

Count
Really I wouldn’t have placed him that high, on the evolutionary ladder.

Hyde
(enters from kiosk) I’m cleverer than I look. I was even on Mastermind once. 

Count
And I’ll bet you didn’t get a single question right.

Hyde
Well that’s just where you’re wrong, see. I got the very first question right.

Count
I don’t believe you.

Hyde
Wanna bet?

Count
You’re on. 

Hyde
How much?

Count
A fiver?

Hyde
Right. (slaps money on the counter) There’s my fiver.

Count
(slaps money on the counter) And there’s mine. Right then, what was the first question?

Hyde
‘What is your name’ ? (takes the money) Mine I think.

Count
But that’s not a proper question! 

Seek
I’m afraid it is, Count. He won fair and square.

Count
(aside to audience) I can’t let an idiot trick me out of my hard-earned cash. I’d better get it back. (to Hyde) I’ll bet you didn’t get any more questions right.

Hyde
Double or quits?

Count
All right. 

Hyde
(slaps money on counter) There’s my tenner.

Count
(slaps money on counter) And there’s mine. Now what was the second question?

Hyde
‘What is your occupation’ (takes the money) Mine again.

Seek
(patting Hyde on the back) I’m impressed. I always had you down as an idiot.

Count
(to himself counting on his fingers) What’s your name What’s your occupation Right, now I’ve got him. The third question is the hard stuff, and there’s no way he could get that one right. (turns to Hyde) Double or quits again?

Hyde
(unsure) Well…er…

Seek 
Go ahead partner, you’re on a roll.

Hyde
But…

Count
No buts. Now put your money down.

Hyde 
(reluctantly) Okay then. (slaps money on the counter) There’s my twenty quid.

Count
(takes out a note and slaps it on the counter) And there’s mine. Now what was the third question?

Seek
Hang on Count. To give you a better chance of winning your money back, why don’t you ask him a question yourself?

Hyde is aghast. He shakes his head furiously at Seek and mouths ‘No’.

Count 
Good idea. (to Hyde) Ready?

Hyde
Not really.

Seek
Ask away, Count.

Count
(to Hyde) Right then. What do you call the gap between two mountains?

Hyde
(thinking hard) Oooh…erm…this is a tricky one…(finally shakes his head in defeat)…pass.

Seek 
Correct!

Hyde
Cor, that was lucky! (takes the money) 

Count
(slaps his forehead) Doh! Much more of this nonsense, and I’ll have paid out more than I want collecting. (to Hyde & Seek) Just get my money from Baron Hardup, or throw him and his family out. (exits SR)

Seek 
(slapping him on the back) Well done partner. ‘Ere, you weren’t really on Mastermind where you?

Hyde 
Yes, and every question they asked me I got right.

Seek
I’ll bet you didn’t.

Hyde 
How much?

Seek
£20. 

Hyde 
You’re on. (slaps money on counter) There’s my £20. 

Seek
(slaps money on counter) And there’s mine. Now what questions did they ask you?

Hyde 
They asked me ‘what’s your name and what’s your occupation’?

Seek
That’s the two you got right, now what about the others?

Hyde 
That’s all they asked me before I fainted. So you see, I really did get all the questions right. (grabs the money) Cheers! (runs off SL)

Seek
Come back here!

Hyde runs off after Seek.

Cinderella Version 3

  • Product Code: cinderellav3
  • Availability: In Stock
  • £40.00


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