• Cinderella Version 2

Synopsis:
The out of control spending of his two stepdaughters is bringing Baron Hardup to the brink of financial ruin, and when debt-collectors Cash and Carry turn up he has to hoodwink them into believing that he’s paid them in full. And the Baron’s daughter Cinderella, is having to endure the cruelty of her wicked stepmother and her ugly daughters Sciatica and Dyspepsia. Meanwhile at the palace, Prince Charming is also put upon but in a different sense. He is under pressure to marry before the age of twenty-one or the crown passes to his Uncle Rupert, who believes that he’s the reincarnation of Gypsy Rose Lee. Both he and Cinderella have their helpers. He has Dandini and Cinders has Buttons, who is secretly in love with her and does what he can to impress her. But in the end, Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother persuades him to he sacrifices his own feelings in exchange for her happiness.

Roles:
11 principals, plus 5 smaller roles. Including 3 Fairies, the King and Cookie who has one big slapstick scene. And a chorus.

Runtime:
All of our scripts have a runtime of approx 120 minutes, assuming that you use the full number of suggested musical numbers and not including any interval. But this is very dependent on your own production and can be edited by yourselves to suit.

Music:
All of our pantomimes come with a full, suggested songs and music cues and SFX list.

Style:
Traditional British pantomime, incorporating visual comedy, slapstick and audience participation.




Characters
Buttons
Cinderella
Dyspepsia
Sciatica
Prince Charming
Dandini
Cash
Carry
Baroness Hardup
Baron Hardup
Cookie
Fairy Godmother
Stardust
Moonbeam
Twinkle
The King

Chorus/Minor roles
Villagers
Lumberjacks
Palace Guests
Footmen
Horse or horses (1 horse using two actors or 2 one man horses - see script)


Scene One

The Village Of Ruritania


Prologue


Fairygodmother enters surrounded by three student Fairies, who are all chattering away excitedly.

Fairy. G
Quiet please, students! 

Stardust
Are you really going to make a cloud descend from the sky, Fairygodmother?

Fairy. G
Yes, Stardust. Now everybody take notice, and remember what I do. Here I go then. (raises her wand and looks upwards) Dramaticus Musicas! Music cue 1: Cumulus Descendus! Music cue 2: 

SFX: A fluffy white cloud descends from above.

Moonbeam
Wow! You really did it Fairygodmother!

Fairy. G
But of course. (to cloud) Cumulus Ascendus! Music cue 3: (the cloud ascends back out of sight) Now who would like to have a go?

Fairies    
(variously) Me! No me! No, me! 

Fairy. G
(firmly) Be quiet girls!  I will not have quarrelling in my class. Right Twinkle, seeing as you’re the oldest you can have first go.

Twinkle
Thank you Fairygodmother. (showing off to the others) Watch this! (raises her wand) Cumulus Darkous!

SFX: A dark cloud descends amid thunder and lightning effects.

Twinkle
Oh no, it should be a fluffy white cloud!

Stardust
Well Fairygodmother managed it.

Twinkle
Yes, but she’s had a thousand years of experience. 

Fairy. G
Cheek! I’m not that old…a few hundred years, maybe.

SFX: A mobile phone rings.

Fairy. G
(pulls an ear-piece from the bottom of her wand, puts it in her ear and speaks into the other end of the wand) Hello! Speaking…yes…yes…oh dear. Another wicked stepmother you say? They never learn, do they? Yes…I will…goodbye. (waves her wand) Cumulus Ascendus! Music cue 4: (cloud ascends back out of sight) Class dismissed!

Fairies
(moan) Aaahh! 

Fairy. G
I’m sorry, girls. But a young girl named Cinderella, desperately needs my help. So I want you all to return to Slugwart’s, and write an essay on spell casting.

Fairies
(complaining) Boring!

Moonbeam
Can’t we come with you instead, Fairygodmother?

Fairy. G
I’m afraid not, Moonbeam.

Fairies
(pleading) Pleeeease! 

Fairy. G
Oh, very well. But you must promise not to get under my feet. 

Fairies
(delighted) We promise!

Fairy. G
Hold tight then. (waves wand) Floatus, Flightania! Fly us all, to Ruritania!

SFX: Pyrotechnic flash.

Snap blackout - all exit - cloth/tabs out - lights up.


Scene One

The Kingdom Of Ruritania


Music cue 5: Villagers. After song ends…Villagers exit either side.

Buttons runs on (SR) carrying a parcel.

Buttons
Hello everybody! (audience respond) I said, ‘hello everybody’! (audience respond) That’s better. Now my name’s Buttons, and I’m the Butler at nearby Hardup Hall. And now that you know my name, perhaps you can all tell me yours. I’ll say ‘hello everybody, my name’s Buttons, what’s yours?’ And then you all shout out your names. Ready? Hello everybody, my name’s Buttons, what’s yours? (audience respond) Who said ‘mine’s a pint’? Well now that I know all your names, I’ll let you in on a little secret. (all shy) I’ve just fallen in love with somebody. (to woman in audience) No love it’s not you, get back in your seat. The person I’m in love with is called ‘Cinderella’, and it’s her birthday today. So I’ve bought her a present and I’m looking for somewhere to leave it, to stop her two ugly stepsisters getting their paws on it. (puts box downstage near the wing) If I leave it here, will you to look after it for me? (audience responds) Thanks. Now if anybody goes near it, I want all you to shout ‘Buttons up’ and I’ll come running. Will you do that? (audience respond) Let’s have a practice then.  I’ll go off and come back on pretending to be someone, about to nick the prezzie. (exits and re-enters and goes to touch the present and audience respond) Fantastic! I’m just off to see if I can find Cinders. See you all later. (exits SL)

Villagers drift back on. 

Cinderella enters (SR)

Cinderella
(cheery) Good morning everyone!

Villagers
Good morning Cinders!

Cinderella
Has anybody seen my father this morning?

Villager 1
I saw him coming out of the bank earlier, Cinders. 

Cinderella
And did he look happy?

Villager 2
No, he was sobbing uncontrollably.

Cinderella
Oh dear, that’s happening more and more these days.

Baron Hardup enters (SL) looking through papers and sobbing. 

Cinderella
(goes to him) Father! Whatever’s the matter? 

Baron    
I’ve just been looking at my bank statements. If your stepsisters carry on spending like there are, I’ll soon be bankrupt!

Cinderella
Don’t despair father, I’m sure I can make some more savings.

Baron    
You’ve made enough sacrifices already, Cinders. You’ve haven’t had a new dress in ages, and it breaks my heart to see you dressed in those rags.

Cinderella
I don’t mind mending and making do, father. 

Baron    
(spots Button’s present) What’s this? Another expensive item bought by your stepsisters no doubt. They probably had that much to carry, they dropped it. (goes to pick it up and audience shout)

Buttons runs on (SL)

Buttons
Keep your hands thieving hands off…! Oh, it’s you Baron. 

Baron
Is this yours Buttons?

Buttons
Yes! It’s a present for someone, and that lot…(indicates audience)…are looking after it for me. 

Cinderella
Is it for someone special, Buttons?

Buttons
Yes, Cinders. (longingly) Someone very special.

Baron
I’m glad somebody can afford to buy presents. I think I’d better return to the bank. 

Cinderella
Are you going to ask them to extend your overdraft?

Baron
No. I’m going to do what any desperate man in my position would.

Buttons
You’re not going to rob the bank!?

Baron
No. I’m going to grovel at the bank manager’s feet. (exits SL)

Buttons
What’s wrong with your father, Cinders? He doesn’t seem his usual jolly self.

Cinderella
He’s worried that my stepsister’s spending is going to bankrupt him. 

Buttons
I didn’t realise things were that bad. Would it help if I took a pay cut?

Cinderella
That’s very kind of you Buttons, but I know very well you haven’t been paid in ages.

Buttons
It’s true. I’m as skint as…a person who doesn’t have any money. 

Music cue 6: Buttons, Cinders, and Villagers. After song ends…Chorus exit.

Uglies enter (SL) carrying bags from cheap shops like Matalan, Primark. Etc.

Sciatica
What a pathetic shopping experience that was. 

Dyspepsia
I know. Some days are just a total waste of makeup.

Sciatica
There just aren’t enough designer shops here, to satisfy our taste in houte-couture.

Buttons
Have you two been out spending, again?

Dyspepsia
Of course we have.

Sciatica
There’s nothing else to do in this dump.

Cinderella
Ruritania isn’t a dump, it’s a lovely place. 

Buttons
(aside to Cinders) Well it was until they arrived.     

Cinderella
(to Uglies) Anyway, father can’t afford your constant spending.

Dyspepsia
Well ever since Daddy dear, decided to turn into Mr Scrooge. We thought we’d save money by going to the sales.

Cinderella
Father’s no Scrooge, but he will be glad to see you cutting back on your spending. 

Buttons
So what have you bought this time?

Sciatica
We’ve bought a new spring wardrobe.

Dyspepsia
And a summer wardrobe.

Sciatica
And an autumn wardrobe.

Dyspepsia
And a winter wardrobe.

Sciatica
And now that we’ve bought all these wardrobes, we’ll need some new clothes to put in them.

Dyspepsia
So we’re off to Harvey Nicks tomorrow.

Cinderella
But if you carry on spending like this, father will soon be ruined!

Sciatic    
It’s not our fault he hasn’t got two ha’pennies to rub together. 

Dyspepsia
We warned mother against marrying him in the first place. 

Sciatica
‘Have you thought this through’? We said.

Dyspepsia
‘Don’t fooled by his titles’ we said. 

Sciatica
But she was a flighty, foolish, flibbertigibbet of a girl. Who’d fallen head over heels for his wallet…I mean, wicked wiles.

Dyspepsia
She’s just like us. Naive and innocent, and easily mizzled by the ways of nasty men.

But/Cind/Sci
Mizzled? 

Dyspepsia
Yes, ‘mizzled’.

Sciatica
Hang on a minute. (exits and re-enters holding a script and points out the mistake to Sciatica) It’s mislead, you fool! Not ‘mizzled’! (chucks script off)

Dyspepsia
Whatever. And now the Baron’s had his wicked way with mumsy. He wants to make us pay for it, by stopping our only pleasures in life. Shopping and eating.

Sciatica
Which reminds me, I’m famished. 

Dyspepsia
Me too.

Sciatica
(to Buttons) Buttons, go and make us both a bacon butty.

Buttons
Since when have you been into cannibalism?

Dyspepsia
Cheek! 

Sciatica
Maybe we should ask mumsy to stop his Christmas bonus.

Buttons
(excited) I’m getting a Christmas bonus?

Dyspepsia
Yes.

Buttons
Is it money?

Sciatica
No.

Buttons
A bottle of whisky?

Dyspepsia
No.

Buttons
A big Turkey?

Dyspepsia
No, but you’re getting warm.

Buttons
What is it then?

Sciatica
A budgie and a bicycle pump!

The Uglies laugh hysterically.

The Baron and Baroness enter (SL) the Baron is holding a sheet of paper.

Baron
But we can’t afford it I tell you!

Baroness
I never realised I was marrying a penny-pincher!

Dyspepsia 
What’s old Mr skinflint complaining about now, mumsy?

Baron
I’ll tell you what I’m complaining about. (tapping the paper angrily) Ballet lessons! Singing lessons! Acting classes! Beauty treatments! I can’t afford them!

Sciatica
Then don’t have them!

Baron
If your reckless spending continues. I’ll be bankrupt within a week!

Dyspepsia
Maybe you ought to tell Cinderella to cut down a bit more, then.

Cinderella
On what?

Sciatica
Makeup for a start.

Dyspepsia
It’s only wasted on her.

Cinderella
But I wear hardly any as it is. 

Buttons
Whereas you two wear more slap, than a bunch of cross-dressing clowns. 

Uglies
Cheek!

Baroness
Take no notice of him girls. He’s just below stairs.

Sciatica
(snaps) He’ll be below ground in a minute! And what kind of a name is ‘Buttons?’ anyway? Why can’t he have a proper Butler’s name, like ‘Jeeves’ or something?

Dyspepsia
It could’ve been worse I suppose.  He might’ve been called, ‘Zipper’!

Uglies laugh hysterically.

Cinderella
It doesn’t matter what anybody’s called. It’s what’s in their heart that counts.

Sciatica
More like ‘what’s in their wallet’.  The second question I always ask a man is, ‘do you have a platinum credit card’?

Buttons
And what’s the first question you ask?

Dyspepsia
‘How big is your portfolio’?

Baron
(to Baroness) I’m off home to try and sort out our finances. (exits SR)

Baroness
Come along girls, let’s get back to that crumbling ruin we’re forced to live in. You too Buttons. (to Cinders) Cinderella, the chimneys need cleaning again. Pick up a brush from B&Q, and get them swept as soon as you get home.

Cinderella
Yes, stepmother. (exits sadly SL)

Buttons
You can’t expect Cinders to clean dozens of chimneys, all by herself!

Baroness
You’re right, Buttons. You’d better give her a hand. Now let’s go. 

All exit (SL) 

Fairygodmother and Fairies enter (SR)

Fairy. G
(to Fairies) I think I’m going to have my work cut out with those three.

Moonbeam
Why don’t you cast a spell and turn them all into frogs?

Fairy. G
The fairy code forbids us to use our magic on humans. But we can influence things, indirectly.

Twinkle
How do you mean, Fairygodmother?

Fairy. G
Well for example. We can’t prevent someone from jumping off a cliff, but we can make sure that there’s a big soft mattress for them to land on.

Moonbeam
So we need a big soft mattress to help Cinderella?

Fairy. G
(to audience) I despair of my students at times you know. (to Fairies) Come along girls. You still have lots to learn. 

All exit (SR) 

The King and Prince Charming enter (USL) and move downstage centre.

Prince
Why have you brought me to the village, father?

King    
I wanted to talk to you about your wedding plans, Charming. And I’m hoping the fresh air might help clear your mind, and make you see sense.

Prince
I keep telling you father. I will marry just as soon as I’ve met the right girl. 

King    
But you’ve already met dozens of Princesses, each one of whom is now married. At this rate there won’t be any eligible ones left.

Prince
Why do I have to marry a Princess anyway?  

King
Because only a Princess is the right person for a Prince.

Prince
But surely the right person, is the one I fall in love with.

King
What’s love got to do with it? When you’re born into royalty, duty comes first.

Prince    
I’m sorry father, but I won’t be forced into marrying someone I don’t love.

King    
In that case, you might never become King.

Prince    
What do you mean?

King
Haven’t you ever read our constitution?

Prince    
If you mean all 1500 pages, then no. I got as far as page 750 and then fell asleep.

King    
Well if you’d stayed awake until page 1200, you would’ve seen that it states, ‘the heir to the throne must marry by the age of 21, or forfeit the crown. Which would then pass to the next in line’.

Prince
But I’m an only child.

King    
Precisely. Which makes it all the more important that you marry before your 21st birthday. Otherwise the crown will pass to your uncle Rupert.

Prince
But uncle Rupert thinks he’s Gypsy Rose Lee! He wears women’s clothes and tells fortunes for a living.

King    
Exactly! The monarchy wouldn’t last five minutes with him in charge. Which is why I’ve organised a royal ball, for tomorrow night.

Prince
For uncle Rupert?

King    
No! For you! And there will be plenty of Princesses for you to choose from. I’m just off to pick up the party invites. And Dandini will begin delivering them to every home in the kingdom, right away.

Prince
But father!

King
No buts Charming. You must pick yourself a bride at tomorrow night’s ball, and that’s that. The future of the monarchy is at stake. (exits USR)

Prince    
The future of the monarchy might be at stake, but so is my future happiness. 

Dandini enters (DSR)

Dandini
Hello your highness, 

Prince
(glumly) Oh, hello Dandini.

Dandini
You’re looking rather glum your highness. What’s wrong?

Prince
I’ve just discovered, that if I don’t marry by the time I’m 21. I won’t become King, and the crown will pass to uncle Rupert. Or should I say, ‘Gypsy Rose Lee’. But I’m just not ready to get married yet, Dandini.

Dandini
But isn’t that what being a royal is all about. Duty before oneself and all that stuff?

Prince
Yes, but it’s so hard to meet the right girl when you’re a Prince. I can never be sure if they like me for myself, or are only interested in the trappings of royalty. I sometimes wish I was an ordinary person like you Dandini.

Dandini
I don’t think I like being called ‘ordinary’ your highness. But if you really want to see what it’s like being me, why don’t we swap roles for a day?

Prince    
You mean, swap clothes and pretend to be each other?

Dandini    
Yes. It’ll also give me the chance to see what it’s like, being a Prince. What do you say?

Prince
Ok then, let’s do it. 

They swap jackets and the Prince hands Dandini his crown.

Dandini
(puts on the crown and takes a regal stance) I could get used to this. (to Prince) So how does it feel to be a commoner, your highness?

Prince
Strangely liberating. Now clear off!

Dandini
Eh?

Prince    
Well I can’t have a Prince hanging around cramping my style, now can I?

Dandini
Fair enough. I’ll just take a stroll down…(local street)…and see how it feels to have people grovel at my feet. 

Prince
People don’t grovel at my feet, Dandini.

Woman Villager enters (SR) sees Dandini wearing the crown and mistakes him for the Prince.

Villager
(grovelling to Dandini) Your highness! What a great honour it is to meet you face to face!

Dandini
Yes, I’m sure it is. Now run along and tell everybody, that Prince Charming is about to brighten up their dull little lives by taking a stroll down…(local street)

Villager
Yes, your highness! At once your highness! (excitedly to audience) I can’t believe I’ve actually met Prince Charming! (starts to exit SR but then spots the present) What’s this? (picks it up and audience respond)

Buttons runs on. 

Buttons
Oi! Put that down! 

Villager drops the present and runs off. Buttons replaces the present.

Prince
(to Buttons) I say, that’s yours is it?

Buttons
Yes, so you’d better keep your thieving hands off…(turns and recognises the Prince)…Prince Charming! Forgive me your highness, I didn’t realise it was you. I’ll just leave now if that’s okay. Sorry to have troubled your highness, it won’t happen again. (backs offstage bowing and scraping as he goes) 

Dandini
What was that about people not grovelling at your feet, your highness?

Prince
He’s an idiot, and that woman is obviously a royal groupie.

Dandini
Well I’m all for groupies. Cheerio then! (exits SR)

Prince    
Now how shall I spend my day as a commoner? I suppose I could have lunch at the Dorchester, and then go to the ballet… 

Cinderella enters (SL) carrying a chimney-sweep’s brush.

Prince    
(to Cinders) Hello there!

Cinderella
Oh, hello!

Prince    
I haven’t seen you around here before. Do you live locally?

Cinderella
Yes, I’ve lived here all my life. 

Prince    
I’m sure I would’ve remembered seeing someone as lovely as you before. What’s your name?

Cinderella
‘Cinderella’. What’s yours? 

Prince    
I’m Prince Char…(realising and correcting himself)…ming’s valet, Dandini. 

Cinderella
You’d know the Prince very well then.

Prince    
Oh yes, I know him ‘intimately’.

Cinderella
I’ve never met him myself, but people say that he’s very handsome. 

Prince
(feeling awkward) Well I…can’t really comment.

Cinderella
What’s he really like as a person? I’ve heard that royals can be very stuffy at times.

Prince    
Well he certainly isn’t stuffy.

Cinderella
I suppose you’re bound to say that, aren’t you?

Prince    
Look here, the palace is holding a ball tomorrow night and everyone’s invited. Will you be coming?

Cinderella
I’d love to. But my father’s struggling financially, and can’t afford a new outfit for me. And all I have is a tatty old dress, that looks like nothing at all.

Prince    
I’m sure you look wonderful in nothing at all…I mean, wearing anything at all.

Cinderella
(blushing) Well I can’t stand here all day chatting, or people might get the wrong idea about us.

Prince    
Maybe they’ll get the right idea.

Cinderella
In what way?

Prince
I’ve never met a girl like you before, Cinderella.

Cinderella
And I’ve never met a boy like you before, Dandini. Music cue 7: Cinderella and Prince. After song ends…I’m afraid I must go. I have lots of chimneys to sweep.

Prince
You’re a chimney sweep?

Cinderella
No, but I must clean them nevertheless. 

Prince
Please say you’ll come to the ball.

Cinderella
I will try, I promise. Now I really must dash. Goodbye! (exits SR)

Prince
(calls after her) Goodbye! (sighs) I think I’ve just met the girl I want to marry. I must go and tell father at once. (exits SL)

Fairygodmother and Fairies enter (SR)

Moonbeam
Wow! That was fast work, Fairygodmother! Cinderella and Prince Charming have only just met, and already they’ve fallen in love. 

Twinkle 
(sighs dreamily) And now they’ll live happily ever after. 

Fairy. G
If only it was that simple, Twinkle. 

Stardust 
You mean they won’t live happily ever after?

Fairy. G
Nothing’s certain when you’re dealing with humans. Come along girls. We have much work to do, if we’re to ensure a happy ending for Cinders.

All exit.
    
Lights dim to blackout - cloth/tabs in (a practical door is moved on USR) - 
lights up.


Scene Two

Outside Hardup Hall


Cash and Carry enter (SL) and go up to the door.

Carry
(reading the sign above the door) ‘Hardup Hall’. This is the place.

Cash
What place is that then?

Carry
The place where Baron Hardup lives! Hence the name ‘Hardup Hall’?

Cash
Oh, yeah! It never struck me before.

Carry
The Baron’s months behind with his mortgage, and we’re here to collect. (spots the present) Hello, what’s this? (goes over to the parcel and audience shout)

Buttons
(enters through door) Take your thieving hands off my prezzie!

Carry
We’re not thieves! Anyway, leaving parcels unattended is asking for trouble.

Buttons
It’s not unattended! (indicates audience) They’re looking after it for me. (to audience) Aren’t you? (audience respond)

Carry
Never mind all that. Is Baron Hardup at home?

Buttons
Who wants to know?

Cash
We do.

Buttons
I mean, what are your names?

Carry    
‘Cash and Carry’, debt collectors.

Buttons
I’ll just give him a shout. (calling inside) Baron Hardup!

Baron
(off) Yes?

Buttons
Two debt-collectors want a word with you.

Baron
(off) What do they look like?

Buttons
They look like you’d better pay them.

Baron
(off) Do they have a bill?

Buttons
No, just regular noses.

The Baron enters through the door.

Baron
(to Cash & Carry) What do you want?

Carry
You’re months behind with your mortgage, Baron.

Cash    
And we’re here to collect. 

Baron
I see. And how much do I owe? 

Carry
Let’s see now, twenty monthly payments at 29% APR. 

Cash
Plus, twenty late payment charges. 

Carry
Plus, compound interest.

Cash
Plus, 20% VAT. 

Carry
Take away the first number you thought of.

Cash
And that comes to exactly…£100 pounds.

Baron
Okay.  (takes out a wad of money) Now who will accept it?

Cash
(holding out his hand) I will.

Baron
(counting the money into his hand) Here we go then.  One, two, three…how many weeks did you say it was again?

Carry    
Twenty.

Baron    
(counting) Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three. How many more collections have you got to make today?

Cash    
Two. A woman at number thirty-five.

Carry
And a bloke at number forty-five.

Baron
(counting) Forty-six, forty-seven, forty-eight. Tell me, is your old boss still around?

Cash
Yes, he’s nearly sixty-five now.

Baron
Really? Sixty-six, sixty-seven, sixty-eight…

Carry
…He plans to work until he’s eighty.

Baron
Amazing! Eighty-one, eighty-two. How much have you collected so far today?

Cash
Ninety-seven pounds.

Baron
Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred.  There we are gentlemen. Paid in full.

Carry
Thank you, Baron. 

Cash    
It’s been a pleasure doing business with you.

Carry
Good-day, Baron.

Baron
Well it certainly is now.

Cash and Carry begin to exit.

Cash    
The bank should give us a nice big banker’s bonus, for collecting all this money.

Carry
Too right they will. (to audience) ‘Credit crunch’! What credit crunch? 

Cash and Carry exit (SL) looking pleased with themselves.

Baron
Twenty month’s mortgage payments, settled for the princely sum of £20.  Not a bad day’s business I’d say. 

Buttons
You’d make a good financial advisor Baron.

Baron
I doubt it Buttons. I advised Dyspepsia and Sciatica to stop spending, but it didn’t do any good.


Cinderella Version 2

  • Product Code: cinderellav2
  • Availability: In Stock
  • £40.00


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